As I actively put off board studying for the morning, I wanted to take a moment to pat myself on the back while I sit in my office on my fourth full day as an attending. Or more specifically “Assistant Professor/Clinical”. It has been a full 15 years since I graduated high school to make it here. At least 11-12 of those years are pretty standard for most physicians that go straight into medicine but I decided to subspecialize in three different (albeit not all that unrelated) areas of pathology and medicine – hematopathology, transfusion medicine and clinical informatics – for an additional 3 years of training.
Sadly, my blog posts took a backseat to a very busy final year of my CI fellowship. However, I was able to take advantage of many educational opportunities as well as opportunities to shine while presenting some of my hard work. As I reflect on my two years as a CI fellow, I find the biggest frustration and limitation to completing meaningful projects was access to data or more like the lack of access to data. And sadly, I feel that this may continue to hold true as I venture on into my new faculty role. However, it is a goal of mine to continue to break down the barriers of obtaining good data to improve the quality of healthcare and reduce costs. If you want to hear more on my thoughts about data sharing, please visit my previous post on this topic!
Another reflection is that I focused most of my time in training on technical aspects of clinical informatics and pathology. I tried to incorporate learning more “soft” skills throughout my training and always found them important. However, after returning from a short weekend retreat put together by the Young Pathologist Section of the Texas Society of Pathologists, I am feeling more of a need to build these skills going forward. This retreat often focuses on topics such as learning on how to give and receive feedback, contract negotiations, what to expect in community practice vs academic practice, physician coaching, professionalism, etc. I have attended a few of these retreats since I was a first-year resident back in 2015 and have always found them informative. This year, I sadly missed the physician coaching session as my little one needed a nap and a pit stop at Burger King on our way to the retreat. So I was already kind of looking for some kind of soft skill/life/professional guidance. The remaining sessions were mostly technical type with abstract presentations or networking opportunities. However, I would have to say my favorite session was actually the one I least expected it to be. Due to crazy travel delays, one session had to be replaced by an impromptu session by a yoga instructor and massage therapist. To be honest, I thought it would be a little hokey and almost skipped the session altogether to hang out with my husband and daughter at the resort pool. But I felt obligated to stay after I networked and socialized a bit too long and found myself right into the start of the session. It ended up being refreshing, informative and entertaining. He spent some time on the importance of ergonomics and good posture which of course we all know is important. However, I really liked the way he framed the importance of it. It wasn’t just about reducing muscle tension or preventing injury which of course is beneficial. He focused on how your posture is a reflection of you and your work. This is not entirely new information. I always try to pay attention to my posture especially in situations in which I am uncomfortable or need to exude confidence such as interviews. The key difference was emphasizing the importance of presenting yourself this way on a day-to-day basis. This has already motivated me to check in with my posture multiple times a day. However, I would say first days as a new attending isn’t necessarily a “comfortable” situation. So this is something I will need to continue to be vigilant about.
This retreat and session also really motivated me to seek out other resources. Since I started even applying for jobs, I have been overwhelmed with anxiety and imposter syndrome. I recently started listening to “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brené Brown. Although I am only about halfway through the audiobook, I already feel empowered to feel comfortable in my own skin. This in turn has motivated to me create this post. I have honestly had some anxieties about this blog in general for many reasons most notably insecurity. But I think as I take this journey of embracing myself, I will try to continue to be me, as hokey as that sounds.
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